MODERN IFIGENIA

One of my fondest memories of Snohomish County in Washington State is the annual Tulip Festival. It takes place during the spring when Tulips bloom, but right before they are cut to take to market. You see acres and acres of Tulips, one of the most beautiful views I've experienced. Unlike other vistas, this experience makes you feel like a flower yourself. As a visitor, you feel beautiful simply because you somehow become part of the landscape; at once you are touching one simple flower, and one massive field. Unlike viewing a gorgeous skyline or horizon, you can actually reach out to and touch this massive source of beauty. As the news of mudslides continue, and as the story turns increasingly sour, my heart goes out to Snohomish County residents and I wish them a blooming and hopeful life to come.

I am an adjunct faculty and I often find myself giving brief assignments on what should be half pages. Except that nowhere on campus have I been able to find a paper cutter, so I have been relegated to manually cutting 8.5" x 11" paper into two very unequally sized pieces of paper. But today, I went shopping at Costco, yes, I shop there a lot, and I found this gem. When I saw it, I felt like the clouds above me parted, and harps started to play. I seriously wonder why I am still single, I mean, it really just takes a paper cutter to make me really, really happy.

I know all of my friends are loving the ease and convenience of carrying books around on a Kindle, or whatever the gadget of the day is, but this move to electronic reading is really affecting my ability to judge others, yes, you heard me right-judging others is now difficult. It used to be that I could sit on the train and just by watching book covers, and their respective readers, I would get an idea of what books I might like. Now, everyone has a kindle and I can't really derive reading recommendations without appearing to be a stalker. But worse than that, new friendships are severely affected. I used to be able to walk into someone's house and look at their bookcase and know whether I should run the other way-now, the non-visibility of books makes identifying incompatibility so much more difficult. For example, if someone were to walk into my house, this is what they might see:   You would be correct in making quite a few assumptions about me based on this ...

Today I went to my second appointment with a chiropractor to read the results of my x-ray that took two hours to take a few days ago. The chiropractor showed up late, made me watch a video, and then proceeded to provide me with individualized treatment discussions that sounded quite canned. Keep  in mind, I have been in serious pain and have been avoiding using prescription strength pain killers, and that is what brought me to this chiropractor. So as he proceeded to discuss things with me, I noticed that as much as he complained about mainstream medicine, his services were identical, here is how: (Mainstream Dr. will be identified with initials MD, and alternative Dr. with initials AD) Scheduling an appointment for 11:00AM: MD: Who knows when you will see her AD: Who knows when you will see her Diagnosis: MD: I am not going to listen to you because tests will tell me what you have AD: I am not going to listen to you because my hands will tell me what you have, but I ...

The Malaysia Flight 370 mystery has everyone confused, scared, paranoid, etc., etc. Everyone has some theory about what did or didn't happen and another theory based on what could or could not have happened. I have a theory based on absolutely no facts, but based on optimism and wistfulness. I think that what actually happened is that the passengers had a little wine, they all started to wax philosophically about life and its meaning. They talked and bonded over the trappings of modern life and how they could keep people from achieving true happiness. After much bonding someone suggested they didn't have to keep doing the same thing. In a moment of clarity they looked around and noticed that everyone was flying with only the people they actually care about.  It is a passenger airline anyways, so you know there had to be a teacher, a farmer, a doctor, an engineer, a lawyer and a counselor. They all agreed to let go of the chains of modern life and start a new community in so...

I find the notion of love to have very different meanings based on your age; what it is and what it looks like and what to expect. I often hear different definitions for love from adults that are sometimes very amusing, but very true. I will  post these as I hear them. Today you will enjoy one of my friends' definition of true love: "True love is having someone who is madly in love with you, but who  is sane in all other regards" 

Today I ran across this article from The Huffington Post which helps you figure out whether your car is your soul mate. I didn't even have to think about it because I LOVE my car, so the answer is a definitive yes. As the nerd that I am, I wondered if I am more in love with my car than most, I really enjoy being in my car (and it's not because  it's clean), sometimes my car is the only place I can cry and the only place I can dance, but maybe everyone does that. So to answer this question more objectively, I went to the Department of Transportation Federal Highway Administration and found that I am more in love with my car than the average American. According to DOT's website, I drive about 15600 more miles per year than the average American woman my age and about 12000 more miles than the average American my age...ahhh  that is love. To be clear, my car has been my house while waiting to be un-booted, it has been my office, my classroom, my supply of electricity...

At the beginning of 2014 I set out to accomplish various new year's resolutions. By the writing of this post, several had already been broken: Drink 100 oz of water each day, produce less than one grocery bag of garbage a week, meditate everyday, etc. etc. I have failed at these, but still try to abide by the spirit of the resolution. There are two other resolutions that I haven't even started working on yet. One is to read ten Latin American novels and the other is to read all of Hemingway's novels. I was really excited about these two and being able to successfully accomplish them, but then something happened... BuzzFeed . All of sudden I found myself wanting to learn important things about myself, like what kind of food I am, or what dead person I am, or what kind of scientist I would make. Before I knew it, I was spending hours on these quizzes (which probably speaks to some narcissism on my part) and it was March. So today, I decided to go grab my first novel and s...

I am that rare creature out there, the single woman who owns a Costco membership. I have found it to be a particularly useful eccentricity because I am always prepared for things like needing 500+ sandwich bags or  NEEDING two large containers of Nutella. Hmmm, I should probably be clear upfront that I have no ownership or familial connection to Costco or Nutella, and that these are both irrational obsessions. So Costco has a membership that returns 2% of the amount you spent there over the year. This membership is very expensive, but in theory it would pay off if you purchase a lot at Costco. I have no reason to have this membership, but thought that maybe it would make sense, after all, I have my own business you know. As it turns out, if this membership isn't advantageous for you, Costco will reimburse you a portion of the membership and as it turns out I didn't spend enough money to warrant the membership. So today I marched over to the customer service desk to talk ...