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NATIONAL DIVORCEE DAY

In looking up the proper terminology for the title of this post, I learned that "divorcees" are divorced women, not men, because apparently men are the divorcers. So there is really no gender neutral way of identifying people who have survived a divorce, or as Tammy Wynnette would say D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

In the end it doesn't matter. I was inspired by a mirror to write this post. It sounds bizarre, but two and a half years ago my ex-husband moved out and I began to take dance lessons. There was a mirror in that dance room and I avoided seeing my reflection in it. I used it mostly to follow the footsteps of other dancers, but never to look at myself. About a year later another divorcee joined the group. We talked to each other quite a bit and I could clearly remember the very first time I saw myself in the mirror. We were talking as usual, I was sitting down and she was standing. I was facing the mirror straight on and she was perpendicular to the mirror.

I remember noticing myself, how old and tired I was and was saddened that I could see that my life had boiled down to what I no longer had.  Fast forward about a year and a half. We had slowly stopped talking about our exes and began talking about our lives. The Sunday we were both tired and took a break. We were in the same position we were in when I noticed our reflection the first time. She was talking about her new house and how the snow had covered it. I was talking about my practice, teaching and how I was dying to go on a vacation.

I accidentally looked up and caught a glimpse of us. We were such different women, lively, vibrant, optimistic...and even though I had gained weight, I thought I looked beautiful. I thought to myself, there must be some way to recognize the difficult journey divorced people go through and to celebrate the beautiful people that come out on the other side.

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